I'm not one of those people that 'has always been fat' but i have been fat at different points in my life so i also can't say i was always skinny until ...... I'm not sure if I'm a fat guy trying to get skinny or a skinny guy trapped in all this blubber. Let me give you some history.
As a child i was very thin. I guess i was a chubby baby but i have seen some family Christmas photos that make me look like a cancer patient (let me see if i can scan some when i go home in October).
Later in life, about 12 on i had a serious chubbiness. i have some shameful family pics from a trip to Queensland, don't want to dig them out. This stayed with me till about the age of 15, lost a lot with some mysterious illness that put me in hospital for a week.
So from 15 to about 22 i was skinny, but it wasn't till i was about 20 that i felt thin, even just those few years as an early teenager had me so body conscious. it wasn't till i was about 20 and working out a lot (unemployment) that i was comfortable to have people see me without my shirt.
When i met my wife i weighed 62kgs (136 lbs) and when my second son was born i weighed 115 kgs (253 lbs) that's almost double. Now I'm not ever going to be skinny like that again but it's still the truth (really must get some pics going - i think i have some VDO of me at 62kg)
In contrast, I've been heavy for a long time now but only recently have i begun to feel like a fat guy. Previously i was a skinny guy trapped in my fat body - but once people start describing you at the fat guy and no one you know remembers or was around when you were skinny you have to accept it (or do something about it)
So what I'm saying is in line with the title. Not always fat or thin but struggling with my weight is something I've always done. I remember times when I'd be eating 6 full meals a day in hope of getting heavier or doing Atkins till i was hospitalised (2005).
Now i don't know where this is going - guess I've got some demons to deal with.
Anyway, ran another 10k this morning. it wasn't any easier, maybe even harder but having the confidence that i knew i could do it was positive. Big issue is chafed nipples - at the end my white shirt was red from the nipple down on both sides - very embarrassing.
Anyone got a fix for this issue or should i stop running?
Liz, thanks for the advice on equipment and the link. I've now decided to change the plan for the next few weeks. Why isolate one muscle group when i can work more and burn more fuel. Also the elliptical won't be touched unless i have very sore knees (like right now) - there are plenty of other machines in the gym, i wanna use them all.
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Good luck Chris. I've been using TT for about 9 weeks. I'm definitely getting leaner and progressively stronger. I'm nowhere near as large as you but I hate that layer of flab around my midsection and need the support of people as I am finding not drinking alcohol the toughest challenge.
ReplyDeleteNeil, i hear you on the alcohol, when the doctor told me to cut down i knew there was only one option - cut it out completely. The plan is only 12 weeks of no alcohol - i don't see a future without it completely. My biggest concern now is how i will manage once i return to drinking.
ReplyDeleteI think that 12 weeks off it has shown me that there is life without alcohol (though not as funny or friendly) and that i can do without. Like Eat Stop Eat show us how we have an unhealthy addiction to food.
I'll be counting on your support come the 7th of June - if the trip to the doctors goes well i'll be in the pub.
Hello Chris. I'm enjoying reading your posts. I see a lot of similarities in our physique and certainly in the struggles with our "inner demons". Here's to a better life!
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